SO, YOU HAVE a gym crush. It happens. Maybe you've locked eyes a handful of times, or maybe they've even asked you to spot them on occasion. You already know you have one shared interest and both value your health and wellness, so it must be love. Right?
Ehh. This is real life, not a terrible Netflix romcom. And while there's nothing wrong with meeting someone at the gym, you need to remember that working out is not a mating ritual.
First and foremost, you are both at the gym to better yourselves and chase goals. That should always take priority. No matter what.
That doesn't mean that you can't ask someone from the gym out IRL, though. There's just a few things to consider before you do. We consulted with both fitness and relationship experts to determine the best way to ask out your gym crush.
How to Ask Out Your Gym Crush
THE GYM IS a delicate place to pursue a love interest. The line between cute and creepy is fine in a place where people are minimally clothed and maximally sweaty . Here's the respectful way to ask out your gym crush.
Try to talk to them outside of their workout, first.
When you're in the gym, you want to stay focused on the task at hand. That's how PRs happen. And trust us: your gym crush does, too.
Your best bet is to catch them afterwardsat the smoothie bar for a post-gym protein boost, perhaps. Or, if your gym does social gatherings, you can strike up a conversation there.
Approaching them outside of their workout should always be Plan A. Once you do, start with small talk to gauge (other) common interests, Kristie Overstreet , PhD, clinical sexologist and psychotherapist, previously told MH.
If it comes down to being in the gym, wait until a set is over.
Absolutely can't catch them after workout or outside of the gym? You might be left to asking them out during a workoutwhich is possible, if you're smart about it.
Number one rule of the gym: NEVER try to talk to someone mid-set, Nellie Barnett, CPT, fitness professional based in NYC, says. Imagine your crush is ripping a heavy back squat, you come up and distract them, and they tweak their lower back. You don't want to be responsible for that, and I'm positive your gym crush will appreciate it.
"Its better to strike up conversation as someone is walking around the gym, not during their workoutno one wants to talk while out of breath," Barnett says.
Take the social cues for what they are.
If your gym crush is coming up with reasons to get away from the conversation, let them.
"See how they respond, Overstreet says. For example, if you approach someone and they don't reply, are short with you, or move further away, then move on.
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Or, if the person starts to put their headphones in and get back to their set, that's a good indication they're not into it. Acknowledge the vibe of the conversationdoes it feel comfortable? Is the person facing you or are they partially turned away? Are they engaged in conversation?
It might take some self-evaluation, but small cues like this will be able to tell you whether this interaction is worth your time.
Don't beat around the bush.
If you want to ask someone out, do it. Being vague or "playing it cool" will only confuse them, and make your intentions unclear.
Don't be vague with a question such as Want to hang? Be specific when asking [them] out," Overstreet says. For example, try something like: "Do you have time for dinner Tuesday night?" This is more direct and shows that you are interested in them as a person versus just someone to "hang" with.
Also, if you're asking them out between setskeep it brief, Barnett says. "This is my workout. I'm trying to keep my heart rate up, so just make it sweet and to the point."
Accept the answer.
If they say no, take that answer and go. They might try to let you down easy, but don't mistake that for them being interested when they're saying they're not. Plus, you share the gym stilldon't make things awkward by being persistent, bitter, or rude.
We get it, rejection sucks. But, if it weren't for rejection, you'd probably date a lot of people who aren't a good match for you, Overstreet says. And, don't try to get them to change their mind and "chase" them. It's a violation of consent, and just gets creepy.
Remember, you want to date someone who wants to date you. Take the "no", understand that they're not your person, and move on. For the sake of both of you (and your sacred gym space), let it go and keep things cordial.
Cori Ritchey, C.S.C.S. Associate Health and Fitness Editor
Cori Ritchey, C.S.C.S., is an Associate Health & Fitness Editor at Men's Health, a certified strength and condition coach, and group fitness instructor. She reports on topics regarding health, nutrition, mental health, fitness, sex, and relationships. You can find more of her work in HealthCentral, Livestrong, Self, and others.
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