Tendani M.
Great comebacks have to be witty, perfectly timed, and said with just the right amount of confidence to land well. The people below didnt just have the formula down, they proved that in the midst of an argument, sometimes, theres nothing smarter than a witty mouth.
Massive layoffs at work one day. I was out at lunch and grabbed a burger to bring back. The bag was tiny. Got on the elevator to go up to my office, and it stops on the way and the personnel director joins me.
The doors close, and he turns and looks at my lunch sack and asks, Have you got enough for everybody? I immediately replied, I do now. I thought he was going to cry. � dkfotog / Reddit
When I was a kid, I played outside a lot with neighbor kids. One day, one kid chased me to be mean, tripped and fell on the ground. He told his mom. His mother walked to our house, furious about what I had done with her kid.
When I told my mom the truth, the other kids (that followed her) confirmed it. When the woman realized she was wrong, she threatened to send her husband after my mom. My divorced mom said the glorious sentence, Go ahead and send him. You wont get him back.
She walked away immediately, and we never heard from her again. � Lifeonarope / Reddit
A bloke where I work had his leg amputated, so he uses a wheelchair. He sometimes gets wedged in doorways etc so people ask if hed like help.
Need a hand, mate?
Nah, already have two. Wouldnt mind another leg, tho?
Im sure hes had that exact exchange 1000 times. � EngineeredGal / Reddit
� cottonbro studio / Pexels 
Some guy walked up to me, completely unprovoked and demanded I take my glasses off. I did, confused, and he stared at me for a few seconds before declaring, Yeah, you look better without your glasses on.
So I said, You look better without my glasses on, too.
He looked absolutely gobsmacked. Id seen the comeback somewhere online years prior, and Im only glad I was able to remember it in the moment instead of hours later in the middle of the night or something. � littlehappyfeets / Reddit
� Vlada Karpovich / Pexels 
Many years ago, when I was twelve, I got into an argument with my mother and father. Exasperated, my mother said, You talk like you think your father and I dont have a brain between us.
I immediately said, No, I do think you have a brain between you. My father burst out laughing end of argument. � AlbionBoethius / Reddit
I once jokingly said to my wife, You know you should consider yourself lucky really as Im quite fussy about my women. Without skipping a beat, she replied... Well youre just lucky that Im not fussy about my men.
Burned. � LC_Anderton / Reddit
I was adopted at 4 months old. It was never presented in a bad light, just a matter of fact. Im the oldest in my adopted family.
My younger brother in a raging fit over something: YOURE NOT MY REAL BROTHER!!
Me: Yep. Mom and Dad chose me. They were stuck with you.
Silence. � ejtrb92 / Reddit
There was a kid in my form class in secondary school (name was Junior) who generally ruined most lessons, he didnt last long and was moved on. But he was quick-witted.
One time our science teacher said to him Junior, if you continue Im going to make your life a little less easy, to which he immediately replied, Im too young for marriage, miss. � mikewatt-ta / Reddit
� Elina Sazonova / Pexels 
Some guy was tailgating me, so I brake-checked him. At the next set of lights, he got out his car and asked me what my problem was.
In a flash, I remembered a bumper sticker Id seen and quoted it to him, If I wanted you so close, Id kiss you first. I heard the woman in the car behind explode into laughter, while the guy looked confused and went straight back to his car. � cowf**** / Reddit
I walked into a small shop last week and stood at the counter across from the cash register, because no employee was visible. A male employee soon came out from the back, and I asked how he was doing.
He answered, Fine. For now.
I said, For now? Well, I hope it lasts!
We both laughed and had a nice conversation afterwards. � Rob Chung / Quora
� cottonbro studio / Pexels 
Reply by a kindergartner, to a pair of 5th graders who tried to tell him Santa isnt real: Santa brings me presents, and if Santa doesnt bring you presents, you should think about why. � MindYourMouth / Reddit
� Andrea Piacquadio / Pexels 
My grandma asked my cousin, whod had lots of partners and 2 kids at this point, if she was ever going to get married.
Cousin: Its not the same nowadays. We dont buy cars without test-driving them first.
Grandma: Yeah. But they dont let you put a hundred thousand miles on them, either.
Point goes to Granny. � IDKHow2UseThisApp / Reddit
When somebody is insulting me without any purpose, I just tell them Bad day, huh?.
I swear, 90% of the people almost immediately calm down and even apologize to me, because they seriously had a bad day and they just had too much bad energy without a way to let it go.
Theres no need to fight back, sometimes we need a good approach to end the argument and calm down the attacker. � Exact-Vacation-2140 / Reddit
My son and his newlywed wife were poor college students living out of state. When I went to visit them, I took them to the grocery store and let them fill up a couple of grocery carts that I paid for. As we were leaving the store, I said, Now, when your kids are poor married college students trying to get by, dont forget this.
My new daughter-in-law piped up and said, Oh, we wont forget. Were going to tell them to go get grandpa! Haa haaa haaa...I love that gal. � JakeInBake / Reddit
� Ketut Subiyanto / Pexels 
My 3-year-old niece came over with her dad, and, as little kids do, just randomly interrupted our adult conversation to say emphatically, Im three!
Me: Wow, sweetie! How did you get so old??
Niece, gently but matter-of-factly correcting me like I am a simpleton who needs help, Actually, Im kind of new.
Its been months and I laugh every time I think of this story. � gingerytea / Reddit
Some of the best comebacks are life experiences that you never expected. Here are dads who just never saw it coming.
Preview photo credit littlehappyfeets / Reddit Lucky you! This thread is empty, which means you've got dibs on the first comment.
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